One year

Charlie is going to be one year old on Monday. I just cannot believe it - this year has gone by so quickly...we're having a big party for him on Saturday !!

As busy, challenging and changing as it's been for me, I wouldn't change one minute of the past year. I adore mothering Charlie; I love him more every day. I adore and am blessed to be Ryan's wife and I love him more every day as well. And mercifully, I love myself less. I still love myself very much to be sure, and if I don't get my workout or other agenda items checked off, I still pout :) but I can see progress.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my role as a wife and mother and what I want to provide for my family. My list seems wholesome, natural and harmless at first glance - I want to offer my husband and a children a clean, inviting home filled with lovely flowers and savory home-cooked food; I want to appear fashionably put-together at the grocery, at the door when anyone knocks and for Ryan when he returns home from work; I want to teach Charlie the catechism and read scripture to him over breakfast; I want to rise early, while the house is still quiet, and have my own time of reflection before heading out for a run. I want to read classics and learn to sew. I want to be brilliant and conscientious worker who is commended daily for her efforts on behalf of the company (this one is perhaps the most far-fetched :)). These goals are commendable to be sure but what I've realized lately is AT WHAT COST will they come? Is it possible to do everything? And really, the answer is simple - NO.

In the introduction to Section Five of Keep a Quiet Heart (a book I highly recommend, btw), Elizabeth Elliot quotes Elizabeth King: "In my attempts to promote the comfort of my family, the quiet of my spirit has been disturbed...this is of great importance, to watch carefully - not to over fatigue myself, because then I cannot contribute to the pleasure of others; and a placid face and a gentle tone will make my family more happy than anything else I can do for them. Our own will gets sadly into the performance of our duties sometimes."

This hit home so I'm in the process of weeding out unnecessary goals for this season of my life. It's a freeing thought and process...and exciting as well - these goals aren't being abandoned. I'm simply deffering them for a later season. I'll be sure to let you know what makes the keeper list. :)

P.S. Because I'm in the publishing industry, I feel the need to point out that I know that book titles should not be italicized. The problem is that I can't figure out how to underline in html. :)


maryanne helms said...


you're back! I was just wondering last night when this month Charlie would turn one. amazing how fast the first year flies by. Isn't God faithful to bring us through it alive, and more passionate about our callings, even with the sleep deprivation and all? I love watching the changes happening in your life...I am so proud of all my friends:), and am honored that such amazing women even like me:). Have a great weekend, partying away!

Jill said...

The first goal I'd get rid of is reading the classics.

To quote Ray Romano, "I did not read Tom Sawyer, and yet I did not turn out to be a moron."

Libby & Colin said...

Happy Birthday, Charlie! (More like, Happy Surviving the 1st Year of Parenthood, Emily & Ryan!) Is he getting any exciting b-day presents?